無心睡眠 insomnia....

再咁落去我唔知會唔會好快死得??  我近排不斷受住失眠嘅困擾, 真係好難形容失眠那種痛苦。我以前非常非常少會有失眠情況, 只會有唔夠瞓; 但依家, 失眠, 攪好耐好耐先瞓得著, 然後半夜去完洗手間, 就隔好耐都仲未瞓到....

尋晚...因為連續補習左好長時間, 之後又同朋友食晚飯, 所以返到屋企已經幾眼瞓; 點知, 剛才5:30am起身去個洗手間後, 又再度瞓唔番。以往, 我數綿羊, 數一陣就瞓著, 但呢個方法已經對我完全失效.....

我都唔知自己點搞....再思前想後, 我就會顛架喇。但又停唔到個腦諗呢樣諗個樣, 真係頗為辛苦。我諗過去旅行個圈輕鬆一下, 但依家搭乜鬼飛機, 如果無情情同機有個人係豬流感帶菌者就大鑊, 分分鐘要被強制隔離7日, 實被我屋企鬧鬼死我呀, 自己都嚇親死啦。

點幾首歌比自己聽下.....

If I continue to be like this, I guess I'm gonna die very soon... I am still being tortured by this horrible insomnia.  It's so difficult to describe the hard feeling of suffering from insomnia.  I hardly had any experience of insomina in the past ~ I only had the problem of a lack of sleep!  But now, this insomnia is almost driving me crazy.  What happens to me now is that: I feel very tired easily, but go to bed, and it still takes me quite a long time to really fall asleep.  And then I wake up in the middle of the night and go to the toilet; but after that, I can't fall asleep again, or it would take me two or three hours to fall asleep again.

Just like last night.... I had like six hours of tutorials and after that a dinner with a friend of mine.  I felt already pretty tired and luckily I felt asleep pretty easily.  But... but... at 5:30am or so, I woke up, went to the toilet, and after that, I COULDN'T fall asleep again.  I heard the birds sing, I heard people down there in the garden start their early physical exercises.  I counted the number of sheep from 1000 to 1... I counted many times, but it didn't help me fall asleep at all (which this method used to work well with me).

If I continue to be like this, I know I'll either die soon or end up going to the mental hospital!!!  I just want to stop my brain from thinking too much, but I can't.  I fail.  I feel tired, but I can't fall asleep, and then when I finally fall asleep, it's usually after a few hours of "hard work", and then... it's already like 10am and it's too bright and I wake up.  Mamma mia! 

I have thought of going out of Hong Kong and travel to somewhere ~ just to relax a bit and refresh myself, but when I think about the possibility of contracting the swine flu on a plane, or be forced to quarantine for seven days becoz somebody on the same plane or in the same hotel has got the virus... I don't wanna take this risk and be told off by my parents for the troubles I have made. 

I shall play song songs for myself.... Leslie Cheung's "Sleepless Night"

 

And Aaron's Kwok's 狂野之城 ("Wild City" in English??) ~ Super sexy Aaron Kwok's  beautiful dance

 

Aaron Kwok's "Summer Consciousness" (with English subtitles... wow!)

 

Aaron Kwok + Janet Jackson together!!!